Finding Jessica

This I think is the funniest one os all...omg...Adell you will love this, Lena don't freak, and somebody call Tasha and tell her to watch!!!!

So...does your pee ever smell like that cereal, Smacks? Well, I guess the name is longer than that, hold please..............



Okay, so NOW I think you know what I mean, lol.

Well, sometimes my pee smells like this weird-as-crap cereal...does that mean there is to much sugar in it??? That would surely explain the extra 15 pounds I'm carrying around here...I mean, sometimes its another cereal, like honey nut chereos, but usually this one...any one else out there with that problem...?!

I dunno, maybe I'm crazy, but this totally wasn't the first time. I hope people read this one. And like, agree or disagree. Not that I'm into pee or anything. NO. Seriously, not. Not even a little. Not even really when its in a toilet...but it should stay there until flushed. Period.

But Smacks, though? Any thoughts on that one?!

Okay, done being weird, gonna pretend to work now.

Oh, and this one is pretty funny. (look down...not at your crotch, at the picture below, duh)

The funniest freakin thing I've come across by accident on youtube...seriously...

Lizzy the Lezzy

(embedding coming soon)

...hard. ANd actually working hard!

Thoughts keep creeping up though...I can't help missing someone I never had...and now they're so far away...its hard to see good friends go, I guess.

The JERK cut the check(s) on 9/10 and decided there was no reason to tell me both this and the fact that he sent them to the OFFICE!!! What kind of idiot-man-boy...well, the point is that I know have my money, and he can go and stick a rusted-barbed-wire vibrator where the sun don't shine and let the door hit him where the good Lord split him while he's at it.

You know, its amazing how some people believe that one good act followed by many stupid bad ones makes them just an all-around amazing wonderful and helpful person...and that makes anyone that's not them ungrateful. Well guess what...? Guess what Travis Lewis? I am extremely ungrateful for all of the stress, headache, and general unhappiness that working with your sketchy company has brought me. No wonder your office is currently almost entirely made up of brand-spanking-new or borrowed employees...and why your own liasons don't want to touch you with a 10-foot pole...but I pray for those at your fiscal mercy, and for their sanity, and your peace of mind.

WELL, ahhhh! Now that that's all taken care of...! Can't wait to tackle that payroll in the morning! Gotta get a good night's sleep! Want to have everything done for the return of my bosses on thursday...OH! And I cannot forget to

wordpress is stupid, but here's my latest and greatest...I'm trudging on only to say I did, not because I'm beginning to like it. Can you believe it costs $15/year to really personalize your page?! Absurdity! Oh, and the coding is wayyyy harder than this! At least HTML makes sense when you think it does, and doesn't trick you in to thinking that you've got it all figured out!!!!

You know, I've made up a kinda cute new wordpress blog for everyday since this was supposed to just be for traveling, but I must say wordpress is such a stinker! So dern complicated to do the simplest things, and it takes MUCH longer to load everything too! Well, I may continue it, I may not...maybe I just need that new sony vaio and a better internet connection, lol.

Also....my former employer apparountly "found" the error in his ways/judgement/mental function and decided that he DID in fact owe me $dinero$ and I've got one check and have to wait for the rest in the MAIL!!?!?!! What is THAT about...well, I'm getting my money and I've got a full time job in payroll now so things are peachy keeny, ya know? All I want to do is nicely (and on timey) pay my billsand have a car that will RUN and take me from POINT A to POINT B without any interruptions...I miss my mazda tribute sooooooo badly...i think I'm gonna throw in the towel and just get another when I finally get my settlement...I really loved that vehicle, it was just sooooo......me. Well, about to work out some finances, sooooo....until later.

Oh, and the phrase "wordpress blog" above is a hyperlink to the blog in case you couldn't tell. ;-)

An e-mail from my pale pale friend...

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper
was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him
and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your
garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door,
and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open,
and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about
his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask,
'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan
with two flat tires..
________________________________

An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the
doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my
will three times!'
________________________________

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
________________________________

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it
very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him
to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.'
________________________________

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember
..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write
it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness
sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and
eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
________________________________

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
________________________________

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
________________________________

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're
really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur; be careful.'
_______________________________

One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his
breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know
who could use a good laugh !!

So ummm...Papa Johns pizza...ha ha ha

I still gotta find a good background for the new blog, anyways!

You know, I'm not sure how I feel about this dang ipad that I'm trying to post from in the apple store at crabtree. This is not a freaking qwerty keyboard!!! Driving me off the freaking wall!!! I must say though that the graphics are awesome, I'm sure it would be great fr movies and ibooks, and probably a great travel companion, though this keyboard is driving me CRAZY!!!

Still it's no replacement for a computer, not even close, and I still want the Sony Vaio that I fell for atBest Buy.....soon, soon.

Oh, and after some deep cleaning in the apartment perhaps I will a recipe from one of the books I bought at the flea...

It is really best to find books with character, history, and life yet to give at the flea market. And so cheap! Four cookbooks for $5! Maybe the journey begins.

My my my! How it does fly...I'm already 23 years old. I still look under 18, I haven't graduated college yet (hey, don't judge me, LIFE HAPPENS!) and I'm living alone (mostly...I don't think Magic or Marco count, ha ha) and car-less and well short on lots of things.

Where did we imagine ourselves today ten years ago? Where are our friends and loved ones?

Well, wedding pictures of Mom and Donald coming soon, I always seem to forget the camera to load the pictures, lol. Can anyone tell how hard it is for me to hold a thought? lol

Well, there was supposed to be a purpose to this post...hmmm...life is going I suppose, we'll see about how well it is going. Hopefully I will not have to take my now previous employer to court but we shall see there...and hopefully I will have my full rent...whatever that is...before the 10th...and hopefully I will have an interview ASAP because that would be VERY VERY nice, would it not? Hopefully the jerk who totaled my car (or his insurance) will be forced to pay out the behind for ruining my 2010, then i will finally be able to get a new car (hopefully).

Hmmm...word of the day... H O P E F U L L Y

HOPEFULLY Lena's wedding will become something to make her smile
HOPEFULLY Adell's relationship will be everything she believes it is and wants it to be
HOPEFULLY I will figure out my relationship path and get married and make babies BEFORE my ovaries shrivel up and die (j/k...kinda)
HOPEFULLY everything works out financially...soon
HOPEFULLY the lawsuit is over soon and I can resume my life and future

HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY

Hope is a powerful thing...right?

It seems I have very little control over my life right now. The job market is a dud, I never filled out the FAFSA (silly chit, I know) so I have not a way to pay for school right now, nor do I have a vehicle to speak of. My mother was just married (¡felicitaciones!) and my best friend Lena is soon to follow…I’m glad she’s finally getting what she wants, in spite of her future monster-in-law…

Well, I hear my lawyer is putting through the request to the insurance company, I hope he still did his best, I have been keeping terrible contact with him due to, well…stress, a lack of internet at times, and just a lack of time or anything to say. My life still sucks, my back still sucks, and I think I eat even more than ever…I’ve gained 15 pounds reaching a number I never imagined possible! Well, before getting married and complacent and pregnant at least!

Enough about me…well, not really. It IS a blog about “finding Jessica”…well I happen to be at home in my apartment right now, with Magic and Marco and far too many thoughts and not enough channels, lol.

I think I just finished the first bouquet for the bridesmaids, but we shall see what will be done tomorrow, so I’m trying to keep my hands and poor little brain occupied so that I don’t accidentally fall into an abyss of the brain…I should probably put in a comedy of some sort.

So…my weight goal by October 30th (Lena’s wedding) is to weigh 110-112 lbs.

I will finish putting away my crap before Monday (the 6th of September…geeze where has this year gone?!)

I will finish putting in applications…any suggestions in the Triangle/RTP/Raleigh area let me know!

And I will start a project…after watching Julie & Julia I’m intrigued…would it work? What would it take? What should I do? I almost want to find Julia Childs’ cookbook and cook my way through it…it would take serious time and money, but…why not? I’ve never liked French food (besides French fries, ha ha) maybe it would change my mind…
Or maybe I could work my way through a healthy one to help control my little piggy appetite…or a Paula Dean one…or a foreign one since I do love to cook foreign foods…Turkish and Chilean and Dominican…so many possibilities…and so much food!

Hmmm…I suppose I should start a new blog for that one…and force friends to come over often to eat the food! I do live alone, and a fresh meal every day…I would need either a cookbook with fewer than 365 recipes or promises from friends to eat the food! I think I keep repeating that line…ha ha ha.

Well, all for now I suppose…