Finding Jessica

trying to reach that essential plateau of hopeless wonderment associated with achieving the ultimate inspiration...

***note***
*Since I made this post the person in question WISELY deleted this particular post. They still shouldn't have allowed it to be known, so its still here! BTW, they probably deleted it b/c someone (they didn't want to) found out, saw it, and maybe they don't want to get fired just yet. Maybe. BTW, the blog itself still exists...and they mention a person below in previous posts.*
***note***

OMG people, if you do not like your job (unlike me!) then this is NOT the way to handle it! Also, of course these blogs are for our own enjoyment and expression, but if you value your job, you probably shouldn't make the existence of your rant space known to people it may not be advisable to show. Just saying.

Example below: (from http://briggsitbe.squarespace.com/home/2009/10/23/catching-up.html)

(slightly truncated, but you get the idea)

" ...That being said, it's been about three months since I started full time at BR. As of this moment - I'm not happy. I think the straw that broke the camels back was Lucy (you remember her as my ex Clay's new gf) getting the equivalent of my job (Merchandise Presentation Lead) at Crabtree - the store I started at. I don't really want to go off on a rant about this but I will say - I feel very betrayed by what I considered my home store. I think that part that scares me the most is knowing that no matter what Lucy's job performance is like (which we all know it will be quite poor seeing as how she only sees the job as a stepping stone and does not really have her heart in it) she has people backing her up. Something I do not have at Streets. I feel that everyday is an uphill battle and no matter how hard I work or how much I improve it's never good enough. Our boss is too busy blaming everyone else for the short comings of the store to see that if she - our GM - is never there - and not doing her own job when she is there - it creates a difficult working environment for any of us to perform well in. And because we perform so poorly we do not get the results we are capable of getting. Crabtree looks great compared to us and people like Lucy have "better" references than some one like me who is getting no feedback but negative feedback. This situation is so disheartening and I'm not sure how to fix it. I never thought I'd be so miserable at a place I used to love. I always thought I would stick it out and put in my time and effort to show that I cared while at Streets and eventually go back home to Crabtree. Now that Lucy has been rewarded for her poor job performance in her previous job and has a lead roll there - I feel like I'll never be able to go back. I might as well leave. And so today marks the beginning of me looking for a new job at a company that doesn't hate me. Wish me luck. "

If you haven't seen her, you're missing a wonderfully talented animal!

Life- looking up a bit
Money- ugh, but getting paid around 2am...hopefully my commission has kicked in
Friends- new ones! Love ya Kayla!
Future- hopefully I can get a REAL job ASAP...to pay for that one-bedroom and the digs to spruce it up
Money- sorry, but I need some...I know I know
School- about to have an all-nighter (hopefully not) then get to EXTREME work on those FIVE final papers...and final exam...ugh

Ah, but today I found a new tea place, yay! I will be buying some as soon as I can afford it ;-) called Tea Gschwendner

Made some of my own tea, yum, gotta remember to get that....lost the thought...oh! prescription

Getting to work now..........ugh

http://adellll-is-here.blogspot.com/2009/11/punkd.html

Since I can't comment on your page for some reason (link has to be fixed?) I'll say it here. I think GOD is trying to tell you to slow down honey. We all know you fall hard, and I think GOD is trying to keep you upright while you're still figuring out your footing. You don't need a ready-made family/possible violent crazy b*t*h situation now, before you're well established, before you're well on your way. Its too soon, and too far away, and too CRAZY to take on based on pure, raw emotion. Piensa en esto. Think about it. No tomas tanto mucho pa'que destruir tu alma y tu mente.

Apparently this is a newish movement publicly modeled by the Duggars on TV where you embrace the patriarch system and leave the number of children you have in the hands of GOD. Interesting...well, boring actually...websites below. Boring in the setup, if you search a bit you can find interesting information.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiverfull
http://www.quiverfull.com/
http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/connections/quiverful.html    this one is interesting


Ah, almost forgot, the name comes from here: Psalm 127:3 - 4

 "Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

Related sites...tragedy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates
http://crime.about.com/od/current/p/andreayates.htm

you can google search for more, as always

WATCH IT AGAIN!!!!!!

FOCUS, JESSICA, FOCUS!

I'm at the top of my second of five pages now, I CAN DO IT!

Then I'll just have to go to the library and find references for two more papers...
  and clean the house...
  and organize my pictues...
  and do my chemistry...
  and watch back episodes of Vampire Diaries...
  and finish washing clothes...
  and put away all those clothes...

ok, so maybe I should concentrate on the PAPER at hand! ARGGG!

"I don't want to have to eat lettuce! Those stupid bags of spring mix PISS ME OFF!"

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned and
smacked the shit out of him...

Like his mother used to do.

(I had to post it again. AWESOME.)

i don't know what's wrong with me...
i'm always tired, sad, I can't get ahold of the way I feel
i'm so irritated with everyone in my life, me
but i know its not because of them
but i don't want them around
but i want them around
i think i want
i don't know what's wrong with me
why can't i stop my mind racing?
why can't i achieve what i know i'm capable of?
why can't i get away? afford?
why am i here? what am i feeling?

what am i doing wrong?
why can't i get out of my head?
why won't my head cooperate
i'm doing so badly
yet so close to doing well...
i can't stand this...

what is wrong with me...?


Yes, I'm a gypsy.

Beckoning to my friend...


Yeah... I think the geisha (if you don't know, look it up you unknowledgeable anti-culture-and-history person) is nervous...









 I think she's trying to escape. (the one in white)



Yum! Cheers!











Must've hit the spot, eh? Good rum from the DR baby!




I have a think for Clark Kent.














I think Clark has a thing for gypsies...

Ummm...scary Snow White?!

I don't know.

Oh sexy ladies...did I mention that we made our costumes? Well...it wasn't an equal division of labor...

Oh Clark...(with a tan...)

He's so strong...

Ummm....heisman?

Uhhh...superman? Isn't that backward?