Finding Jessica

trying to reach that essential plateau of hopeless wonderment associated with achieving the ultimate inspiration...

So...still got the ulcers...yay. Not as severe, but I have more of them.

I appear to be living my computer dreams right now...always dreamed of a **Sony Vaio** ever since freshman year of college at NCSU and I imagined the possibility of actually having a computer of my own...just not a $2500 one. Well, $400 bucks got me the newest Y-series 11.6 inch, and I'm in love with it and Windows 7. Chica-chica yeah fake ID fake ID...okay if you've never seen Superbad that your problem. I love little computers, and this is NOT a netbook (stupid inventions) its a NOTEBOOK...go real processing speeds!!!

Oh, and I've still got all these ulcers. Dang, think I mentioned it already.

Waiting for hunny to get back from the grocery and make dinner. Sooooo hungry. Fat kids love cake.

Hmmm...oh, and I'm going back to NCSU this fall (lots of proverbial nail biting)...what shall I do??? Well, do my best to get all A's of course. And look into grad schools. Thinking about Quinnipiac in Conneticut, if I can even get in, and convice Mommy not to loose her mind.

Okay, I'm done for now, I just CAN'T remember why I was writing in the first place, so this post is making NADA sense.

Well, please feel free to check out any new posts on my cooking blog The Ingenius Cookette

Adios!

So, lets take a quick and easy definition from Wikipedia for these nasty little things: "a type of mouth ulcer, appears as a painful open sore inside the mouth[1] or upper throat characterized by a break in the mucous membrane. Its cause is unknown, but they are not contagious.[2] The condition is also known as aphthous stomatitis, and alternatively as Sutton's Disease, especially in the case of major, multiple, or recurring ulcers."

What does this mean for me??? Someone who's had them since at least a few years before braces (got those in FIFTH GRADE) and am lucky to be ulcer free for a whole month?

Well, when I can't remember the best way to drink out of a can without hurting my tongue, lips, throat, mouth, and not spilling anything at the same time - AFTER a week of 1000mg a day poweful antibiotic combo - WHAT IN HADES?!

So why is it that diseases that don't kill you, aren't contagious, aren't nearly as "common" as websites like to make you feel, and with a MILLION possible causes but very few palpable known causes...aren't researched? So sure, some people have "aphthous ulcers" that fall into the "canker sore" category, and much more common (thanks to herpes simplex) are "cold sores"...but I don't have herpes simplex, or anything else I've been tested for! And its been a while since anyone bothered. They just say "oh, get a Q-tip and clean it out with peroxide". I'd like them to try that one then get back to me.

Sorry, but I had to vent. Its been...a month? Since I got these 3 ulcers - lip, tongue, throat. I've taken anti-biotics, and I think one of them got maginally better, but isn't goign anywhere yet. I couldn't talk really at one point, and its still literally a pain to do so. I've been eating mush. I've been sleeping on a towel. I've been walking around with swollen lips. Swallowing water (and most other liquids - not gonna talk about meal time) is a feat - and after what that antibiotic does, I'm sure I'm dehydrated.


Where are the medical professionals that care???

I don't want more lidocaine, special toothpaste! The damage is done! I WANT TO GET RID OF THEM! I'm supposed to see my doctor if they last more than 2 weeks or occur more than 2 or 3 times a year...I guess I should never leave my doctor then. I went around the 3 or 4 week mark, and that was a bit over a week ago. Hmm...at least my lymph nodes weren't swollen long this time. My ear still hurts though whenever the ulcer in my throat hurts...irritating.

Kudos to my fellow sufferers out there that do so much without batting an eye (like talk, breathe, eat, drink...) and resolve to suffer miserably during or after because your just SO HUNGRY or its been so long since you've had juice, or a long conversation.

At least I can talk again.

I think I just gave myself a headache.

If only there was a way to make the people you wanted to see you - really see you. Your fears, your needs, beliefs, dreams... Not what they think is right for you or where they can fit you in or where they think you should fit...

Aren't there any magic glasses?

Am I invisible? Do my expressions say so little? Does my heart not break? Do my eyes cry without reason? Am I seen?

Am I intelligent? Beautiful? Useful? Do I have a purpose?

There is no happily ever after, is there?

I can't see anything anymore...is there a purpose?

Where are the magic glasses?

In the awesome and wonderfully outrageous movie Oceans 11, George Clooney asks Julia Roberts if the new man I'm her life made her laugh. Her reply? "He doesn't make me cry."

Brilliant reply I think.

how do you explain something to someone that only means something to you, and only exists in your head?

"almost dying means nothing...death affects everything"

-house

Just a random Google search, and look what I found! I think it would look beautiful on a back...me and symmetry...

(click on the picture to get a better look if you're using Internet Explorer)

So, as my closest friends know (man, my blog is getting DIVERSE!), I am not a self-pronounced Democrat, though I gladly voted for Obama (and will do it again) I until recently agreed with more Republican views than Democratic. At least the less RADICAL ones, which is beginning to dominate Republican politics...to force families to be strict traditional religous fanatics. It is up to individuals to choose their way of life, and up to their government to provide options.

Well, during the Obama campaign I subscribed to a grassroots e-mail campaign, and while the information is useful and often shocking, its one of those things I don't feel compelled to act on, though recently I've felt VERY compelled to share with others. Below is the newest message...outrageous.

I must note, that I am not pro-abortion, but I am PRO-CHOICE. What does that mean to me? That as an American woman, I can choose what I do with my body, and I can choose safely. People that want to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, if desperate, still will...at what risk?

 - - -

Dear Jessica,


The House is set to vote Wednesday on a bill that could force rape and incest survivors to prove to the IRS that they were assaulted.(1)

It's beyond outrageous, it's horrifying.

And to make matters worse, the bill would impose tax penalties on small businesses and many individuals who buy abortion coverage with their own money—with exceptions only for cases of rape, incest, and when a woman's life is in danger.(2) Their goal is to make abortion coverage unaffordable.

We've already stopped the radical anti-choice legislators from redefining rape. Now we have to win this critical battle in the "War on Women." It will take a flood of calls to stop this assault that could set women's right to choose back by decades.

The vote is tomorrow, Wednesday—can you pick up the phone right now and call Representative Brad Miller? Tell him: "Vote no on H.R. 3's radical assault on a woman's right to choose."


Here's where to call:

Representative Brad Miller

Phone: 202-225-3032


Then, please report your call by clicking here:

http://pol.moveon.org/call?tg=FHNC_13&cp_id=1568]&id=27198-9869467-VvGUqJx&t=2
Thanks for all you do.

–-Kat, Tate, Sarah, Stephen, and the rest of the team

Sources:

1. "GOP Bill Would Force IRS to Conduct Abortion Audits," Mother Jones, March 18, 2011

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=207116&id=27198-9869467-VvGUqJx&t=3

2. "Oppose the Dangerous and Misleading 'No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act,'" National Women's Law Center, February 4, 2011

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=207136&id=27198-9869467-VvGUqJx&t=4

Thus, on a lighter note, I impart to my friends and readers that this saturday past, I baked a yummy roast for my dear, which he enjoyed (a high commendation, nothing ever seems to be tasteful enough for him :-) ) and which I have also enjoyed, having used NO recipe. It was a pot roast, about 3.5 pounds bought at my local grocery near Hilburn Avenue. I used one container of chicken stock (about 2 cups) and a generous splash of a good, inexpensive Pinot Noir (perhaps 1/2 to 1 cup), and cut up vegetables of his choosing (fresh uncooked carrots - 4 whole, potatoes - 4 whole russet, celery - 3 stalks, 1 onion).

Once everything was cut (oven preheating to 350F) I placed all vegetables and liquid into a large, disposable roasting pan (spreading  the vegetables around the perimeter) and added some olive oil (about a quarter cup) salt, pepper, seasoning salt to the vegetables. Once this was done I rinsed the roast of all excess blood to prevent a distasteful coloring to it (in my opinion) and added the meat to the center of the great pan. I then spooned the mixture of vegetables and liquid over it a number of times, and added a bit more seasoning (of the same above) as well as some dried rosemary (about a tablespoon) and a final splash of the Pinot Noir on top (my favorite wine grape, by the way). I then removed vegetables from the top of the roast to prevent their not being cooked in the liquid.

 - - - - Then we went to see Beastly at the dollar fifty theater on Blue Ridge Road, leaving the food to cook. I rather enjoyed the movie, whichever Olsen twin was in it is making a slow comeback, and the tattoos were beautiful. - - - -

Once back home (about 2 hours later, short movie) I prepared some cabbage (first time for this too) with honey cured ham ( I recommend uncooked, as I didn't realize when purchased that mine was cooked, and therefore didn't lend as much of the ham flavoring), seasoning salt, salt, pepper, apple cider vinegar. I really played this one by ear, being perpetually afraid of over-salting and having quite powerful taste buds myself, I prefer to add salt to the finish than be doomed with a salty dish. I must say that the cabbage turned out well, though with a slightly less savory and more vegetable flavor due to the ham being both cooked and cured. Perhaps hamhocks from the farmer's market next time...I saw one booth that was approved by some society or other for humane killing. Kudos.

All in all, a lovely meal, and really tasty leftovers. Think my tongue is still recovering from tasting the meat broth before taking it out...I always forget that I don't feel heat in food until too late, and I had thoroughly burned myself without feeling it until after...don't taste from a spoon out of the oven! (Most people already know this.)

Oh, total cook time for the roast about 3 hours, with the last about half hour at 300F down from 350F. Yummy. Cook time longer or shorter depending on relative size of meat (mine about 3.5 pounds).

Any questions about my recipe, need exact quantities of spices, etc? Feel free to comment and I will reply!


Enjoy!!!

:-)



So, America, in the spirit of appearing political, well-informed, and patriotic (I think), here is a compilation of the interesting events of the past day...I suppose its time to break out some red white & blue, and re-elect Obama so that he can actually get something done this time, and not have everything voted down by people with dogged determination to preserve classification in our country...ANYWAYS! Haha, the news....



Subject Image(link above)


Aliases:


Usama Bin Muhammad Bin Ladin, Shaykh Usama Bin Ladin, the Prince, the Emir, Abu Abdallah, Mujahid Shaykh, Hajj, the Director
 
Usama Bin Laden is wanted in connection with the August 7, 1998, bombings of the United States Embassies in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and Nairobi, Kenya. These attacks killed over 200 people. In addition, Bin Laden is a suspect in other terrorist attacks throughout the world.
 
The Rewards For Justice Program, United States Department of State, is offering a reward of up to $25 million for information leading directly to the apprehension or conviction of Usama Bin Laden. An additional $2 million is being offered through a program developed and funded by the Airline Pilots Association and the Air Transport Association.
 
 
(link above - title)

"WASHINGTON — Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the most devastating attack on American soil in modern times and the most hunted man in the world, was killed in a firefight with United States forces in Pakistan on Sunday, President Obama announced.


  In a dramatic late-night appearance in the East Room of the White House, Mr. Obama declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that American military and C.I.A. operatives had finally cornered Bin Laden, the Al Qaeda leader who had eluded them for nearly a decade. American officials said Bin Laden resisted and was shot in the head. He was later buried at sea.
The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered outside the White House, in Times Square and at the ground zero site, waving American flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “U.S.A., U.S.A.!” In New York City, crowds sang “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Throughout downtown Washington, drivers honked horns deep into the night.

“For over two decades, Bin Laden has been Al Qaeda’s leader and symbol,” the president said in a statement televised around the world. “The death of Bin Laden marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation’s effort to defeat Al Qaeda. But his death does not mark the end of our effort. There’s no doubt that Al Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must and we will remain vigilant at home and abroad.”

Bin Laden’s demise is a defining moment in the American-led fight against terrorism, a symbolic stroke affirming the relentlessness of the pursuit of those who attacked New York and Washington on Sept. 11, 2001. What remains to be seen, however, is whether it galvanizes Bin Laden’s followers by turning him into a martyr or serves as a turning of the page in the war in Afghanistan and gives further impetus to Mr. Obama to bring American troops home.

How much his death will affect Al Qaeda itself remains unclear. For years, as they failed to find him, American leaders have said that he was more symbolically important than operationally significant because he was on the run and hindered in any meaningful leadership role. Yet he remained the most potent face of terrorism around the world, and some of those who played down his role in recent years nonetheless celebrated his death.

Given Bin Laden’s status among radicals, the American government braced for possible retaliation. A senior Pentagon official said late Sunday that military bases in the United States and around the world were ordered to a higher state of readiness. The State Department issued a worldwide travel warning, urging Americans in volatile areas “to limit their travel outside of their homes and hotels and avoid mass gatherings and demonstrations.”

The strike could exacerbate deep tensions with Pakistan, which has periodically bristled at American counterterrorism efforts even as Bin Laden evidently found safe refuge on its territory for nearly a decade. Since taking office, Mr. Obama has ordered significantly more drone strikes on suspected terrorist targets in Pakistan, stirring public anger there and prompting the Pakistani government to protest.

When the end came for Bin Laden, he was found not in the remote tribal areas along the Pakistani-Afghan border where he has long been presumed to be sheltered, but in a massive compound about an hour’s drive north from the Pakistani capital of Islamabad. He was hiding in the medium-sized city of Abbottabad, home to a large Pakistani military base and a military academy of the Pakistani Army.

The house at the end of a narrow dirt road was roughly eight times larger than other homes in the area, but had no telephone or Internet connections. When American operatives converged on the house on Sunday, Bin Laden “resisted the assault force” and was killed in the middle of an intense gun battle, a senior administration official said, but details were still sketchy early Monday morning.

The official said that military and intelligence officials first learned last summer that a “high-value target” was being protected in the compound and began working on a plan for going in to get him. Beginning in March, Mr. Obama presided over five national security meetings at the White House to go over plans for the operation and on Friday morning, just before leaving Washington to tour tornado damage in Alabama, gave the final order for special forces and C.I.A. operatives to strike. Navy Seals were involved in the raid.

Mr. Obama called it a “targeted operation,” although officials said one helicopter was lost because of a mechanical failure and had to be destroyed to keep it from falling into hostile hands.


In addition to Bin Laden, three men were killed during the 40-minute raid, one believed to be his son and the other two his couriers, according to an American official who briefed reporters under White House ground rules forbidding further identification. A woman was killed when she was used as a shield by a male combatant, the official said, and two others wounded.

“No Americans were harmed,” Mr. Obama said. “They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body.” Muslim tradition requires burial within 24 hours, but by doing it at sea, American authorities presumably were trying to avoid creating a shrine for his followers.

The fate of Ayman al-Zawahiri, Al Qaeda’s second-in-command, was unclear."


Reporting was contributed by Elisabeth Goodridge, Scott Shane, Ben Werschkul, Mark Landler and Michael Shear from Washington; Jane Perlez from Sydney, Australia; and Pir Zubair Shah from New York.

 (the above is only page one...there are two more at the link for those interested)


HAVE A HAPPY UNITED STATES DAY!!!